Threatening press of cold hard steel;

Pointless Name Thing [one.two]

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:51:35 GMT

These things are so amusing it's unhealthy.

Asian Stereotypes? [one.zero]

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:19:22 GMT

Some little American child asked me if I ate cats today. I hate tourists.

Oxymorons? [zero.nine]

Sun, 25 May 2008 19:32:34 GMT

It is insanely weird to have someone tell you you've gotten so "big" when they stand at least a foot taller than you. How can you be "big" if compared to most people, you're tiny? But the last time we met, I was eight, so technically, he would remember me as smaller.

It's like, seeing something compared to something else, and that thing looks small. But if you saw it when it was smaller, and then again after it had grown, it looks... big? Compared to what it used to be. I'm not "big," but I'd be big compared to myself when I was eight. So, does that make me big or small?

Augh. I need to go throw things at my wall. Thinking hurts my brain.

[zero.eight] AWOL

Thu, 22 May 2008 17:49:53 GMT

Yeah yeah. Stop whining Naruto. I'm alive, happy now?

Apparently I've been dead and isolated from the world for the past month or so. I've been kinda occupied with work--I got a new job a few weeks ago, finally, and as an auto mechanic, of all things. I had no idea that I would be any good with machines. Thank heaven for male family members who have nothing better to do than explain random facts about fixing cars. I'm still in training, though, so I've been spending a lot of my time down at the garage observing the other workers.

Aside from that, training, sleeping, and eating have monopolized the rest of my time. Go figure.

So. Those of you who haven't been holed up and away from everyone. What's been going on around here while I was out?

I'm a failure to my lineage. [zero.six]

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 01:55:41 GMT

Holy fuck. I need to practice my Chinese more.

It just dawned on me that when you don't speak a language for two years, you start to forget it.

Fucking damn. If I forgot Chinese my family would be so disappointed it isn't even funny. And they're dead. And... holy shit. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. I can't forget Chinese. If I forget Chinese my ancestors will come back from the grave and eat me.

I don't even fucking lie. They will. Don't believe me? Chinese people are fucking apeshit. My mother will claw her way out of the ground and punch me in the throat. Because no baby of hers is going to forget her mother tongue. [I'm just speculating here, but Tarou always said mama was a little unorthodox. And very very very proud of her lineage. Hoooly shit.]

So. Who wants to learn Chinese and have conversations with me?

Well SHIT. [zero.five]

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 04:54:45 GMT

Guess who got fired today?

If you guessed me, then you'd be right.

Some asshat came into the store and tried to harass me. Well, I'll admit, I got a little carried away; I pulled a knife on him.

... Make that like, four knives.

Anyways. My boss threw a flying fit. Aaaand had me searched. Upon finding I had roughly one hundred weapons on my person, he wasted no time in kicking my sorry ass. I thought he was going to try and have me arrested--but thanks to the divine influence that is yakuza mind-control powers, I got off with only a few bruises on my pride and a lost job.

Of course. This means I am now unemployed. Who wants to pull some strings and find me something? Anyone?

Guess I know what I'm gonna be doing tomorrow. Job shopping--here I come. Fucking hell.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go blare annoying American boy band music and see how long it takes for Neji to snap and punch me in the throat.

Rape can be funny. [zero.four]

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:33:24 GMT

Someone needed to say it.

That's all I have to say.

of a matter I would like to discuss... [zero.three]

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 10:45:39 GMT

Okay, now I know this is a bit of an iffy topic, but it has to be put out there:

Vaginas.

Yes, I said it. I'll say it again: Vagina. Shocking, no?

Okay, so I got this email from one of my femmenazi friends--and this girl is off her rocker in the way that she believes all men suck, she has eyes for women only, and things that the male species is a menace to our society and should be enslaved, blah blah blah. Anyways, so, this entire email was about--you guessed it--vaginas. And not just anything about vaginas, oh no. It was about how beautiful and artistic they were.

Okay. I'm a woman. I'm proud of my gender, even though they disgust me from time to time, but come on. In case any of you don't know what a vagina looks like [Ew, I don't even know what the fuck that last one was, but it looks nasty.] it ain't anything even remotely close to "beautiful."

I mean, look at it. EW. Anyone who can look at that and think "awww, how pretty" is off their rocker. Have you ever seen a blown-out vagina? You don't want to. They're ugly enough when you're young and unwrinkled and relatively nice-looking--but once you get to... ugh. It's repulsive. Absolutely repulsive. Not all of 'em are like that, of course, I know that, but still. I mean, girls are pretty hot and all, and I would totally be bisexual, except for the fact that just thinking about touching one gives me the creeps. I mean, I have to deal with it enough knowing that there's one on my body without having to worry about coming in contact with another woman's.

"To medieval Christians the womans genitals were sometimes equated with the "yawning mouth of hell". Interestingly enough, in pagan times the underworld gate was in some places known as "the yoni of Mother Hel." And the word "yawned" is derived from Middle English yonen, which may be a derivatave of "yoni." "

You hear that? Yawning mouth of hell.

Not saying the penis is any better, mind you--in fact, I often spend shameful amounts of time mulling over which is worse and wondering why oh why I have to choose one. ~~Or both.~~ Sometimes I wish I could just pick the third option--celibacy, but HAHA. No.

Seriously folks. They aren't pretty. They're nasty wads of wrinkled, leaking flesh that bleed once a month and are a plague to womankind. [And we have to shove babies out of them. BABIES.]

Oh, and another thing? Vulgar terms for vaginas? They don't fly. No matter how disgusting those sloppy mounds of flesh between our legs are, still doesn't mean you can call them things like "cunt" and "pussy." Men [and women,] say that around me, and I'll end you. [You can castrate a woman too... right? ... ... I'll find a way.] It's degrading and disrespectful and it angers me.

Anyways. It's six forty-five. This is why I'm not allowed to stay up all night. Because I start ranting about genitles. Oh, and by the way, Neji: I hope you got a lovely and restful night's sleep. ♥ Aren't you just elated that I kept you up doing something so important and meaningful and contributory [word, y/n?] to society?

Soup and crackers. [zero.two]

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 09:28:34 GMT

I just totally realized that soup and crackers taste really good together. I mean, I always knew before, but I never really noticed how good.

... I shouldn't be allowed to cook at night. Or think, for that matter.

And I think if I don't get off the computer and into bed Neji is going to throttle me, seeing as the computer is no more than two feet away from the pull-out couch.

Neji, I love you~? And remember, this is my house...

Birthday party, ftw? [zero.one]

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 02:57:26 GMT

So my birthday's in six days. Brilliant. I'll be twenty. ~~OLDER THAN NEJI HAHA.~~ I'll be of legal drinking age! 'Course, legal or not, I still drink, so it's all rather non-committal.

Speaking of pretty-eyes, apparently he's going to be staying with Lee and I until he finds a place of his own. I'm counting down the days until he loses his mental stability and kills us all. It will be very interesting, and I might want recorded evidence.

Anyone have a video camera?

Logs and Stuff [zero.zero]

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 23:52:52 GMT

[none]